10 Years Later...

This handsome guy whisked me away for our 10 year anniversary this past weekend!!  It was our first night away alone since having Justus 5 years ago! We obviously need to get out more ;)  No, actually it's really hard for me to leave my little ones....  But, that guy down there is pretty darn important to me, and I know we need time for the two of us.  We had a really good time just hanging out and not having anywhere to be at any specific time!

When I sat down to write this post I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say.  Tyler and I have been through quite a bit in the past 10 years together.  Marrying young kind of means "growing up" together sometimes.  We were 19 & 21.  (Someone jokingly called me a cougar recently.  Ha!  Funny thing is I was totally against younger guys...God has quite a senses of humor!)  There has been job loss and depression, PTSD (I should tell that story sometime!) and hurt, foreclosure and living in my parent's garage for two years....  But, there has also been LOVE and JOY and PEACE that passes all understanding.  

The thing is...all of those moments of pain and uncertainty have brought us to this place where we now stand.  There were times in the midst of it all that I thought we'd never see clearly again.  And yet here we are.  We are still in that garage (it was two years in December), but we have changed.  Our circumstances haven't necessarily changed, but our hearts have.  We are doing things that even a year ago were not possible for us.  God has brought us out of painful times in a miraculous way....  And it's not miraculous in the sense that it happened overnight in a flurry, but actually just the opposite.  He moved in time and with peace and yet it's still a miracle to behold.  A miracle of the every day sort that I pray I always remember.  Of course, it's fitting it would happen that way for the girl that would prefer His answers were written in the sky with permanent ink ;)

There really aren't words to express how proud I am of the amazing man that God has blessed me with.  And more than that, I am grateful that He took my distorted idea of LOVE and replaced it with a true understanding of the 'act of love'.  Through everything I feel like I have received a mere glimpse of the love that God has for His children.  I have seen that love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).  That true love takes work and sweat and tears...and sometimes always living life with open hands.  Because that man I love so very much isn't really mine...he is a gift from above.  And as hard as it is for me to accept sometimes, I have learned that my husband is ultimately the Lord's.  That one of the greatest gifts I can give him is to always remember that he is a Child of God trying to find a way in this crazy world.  I think that has been one of the biggest lessons I have learned (and am still trying to put into practice ;)... that I have to let go of my unrealistic expectations of this man and realize that he is just that...a man.  God is the only one that can love me perfectly without fail.  He must be my strength, my ultimate comforter... My First Love.  

And I have found that when I love with open hands, there is freedom....

Saying goodbye

I have been putting off writing this because as it all floats around in my head, I'm not sure how to process it....  As 2012 came to a close, my grandma passed away.  The grandma that lived far away, but was always close in my heart and prayers.  The grandma that I kept saying I would write to again like I used to.  And that I would send that picture of all her great grandkids that I had planned to send her for Christmas.  I didn't get it sent for Christmas and my plan was to get it to her this week.  She went to be with Jesus on Saturday.  She didn't get to see that picture...she never got to meet most of her great grandkids.  It really tears me up inside, I've had a hard time letting go of it.  These past few days I've felt regret....

I wish I could say that I've figured it out.  But, I haven't.  Sometimes life is hard.  I hate regret...and I don't say hate much.  I'm not usually one to regret, but this I do.

My heart hurts and there have been lots of tears.  Ty tells me it's ok to mourn...to be sad....  I am sad.

I know that she is ok now.  That she's with our Jesus.

But, I'm still sorry that I didn't do more.

I wish I could have said goodbye.  I love you, GG.

Family Embrace

Yay, for a recent family picture!!  I'm glad that we have started making sure that we get one every so often!  Oh how I love my boys.  I am most definitely blessed!!!

November 2012

Woah Baby!!

First off, no I am not pregnant!  But, if you are (or have little ones) you might love this giveaway....  

I don't post often about stuff like this, but Baby Gizmo is doing their 12 Days of Christmas giveaway and I just had to let you know.  Actually, I'm telling you because I get 10 extra entries if I blog about the giveaway!!  (just being honest! ;)  But, anyway, Baby Gizmo giveaways are amazing and you should definitely check them out.  Their site is about absolutely everything baby and child related...there is a wealth of information about baby products, toys, etc. including product reviews with videos.

You should go enter!!  Somebodies got to win, right?!  

Get dressed!

I love fashion.  And I love a good deal!!  I very rarely pay full price for something.  I'm a bit picky when it comes to clothes...basically, I know what I like and what works best for my body.  I can usually tell if something will work for me just by looking at it.  (That kind of drives my mom crazy when we go shopping though.  She'll just want me to try it on anyway, but I already know.... ;)

I shop online quite a bit.  I hear a lot from people that they can't do that because they don't want to deal with the hassle of something not fitting.  I understand this, but I think the key is, like I said before, really knowing what works for your body.  When you live in a very small town like I do, shopping online is essential to...survival!  Just kidding!!  But, really, a girl likes to have some options.

I have found some great deals lately on some sites that I am really loving.  I have been adding a few items to my closet the past few months after not really doing much shopping for quite a while.  (All great deals, of course!)  But since I need to tighten my wallet for the sake of saving, I am going to start sharing some finds here instead of adding them to my cart!


I had been on the hunt for good basics for a while and ShadeClothing.com has so many cute basics!!  There sizes are great (XS-XL) and they have some awesome sales!

I love a basic white t with some detail.   

And who doesn't love stripes!!

So simple, yet cute!

Ok, maybe I bought the last top a couple weeks ago!  It is even cuter in person and I got it for like $13!!.  That top is so my style...easy to wear, but nicer than just a t-shirt.  I want one in 10 different colors!!

P.S.  ShadeClothing.com also has maternity.  Really cute basics for layering during pregnancy are definitely a plus.  I remember ;)


Ok, now it's your turn to share where you love to buy your staple items....

Day by Day

I've been so busy trying to be in the moment...trying to live day by day...that I still haven't figured out how to fit in time to chronicle our days here on my blog.  I really really want to because some day I want to have these moments recorded to look back on.  I'll get there.  Eventually ;)

Oliver- 4th from left; Justus- end right

This sweet picture was a good reminder to me that I need to take the time to document these days.  Justus looks so big in this picture that I can't keep my eyes off him!  How in the world did he get so big?!

These little ones are the best of friends...and cousins!!  We were all together for Thanksgiving and decided we should get an updated cousin picture.  Growing up it was only my brother, sister and I.  Even for holidays, it was only our family of five and my grandma.  I cannot express how blessed I feel when we all get together now and there are nine adults and eight kids!!  I dreamed of having that for a very long time...!

School ~ home style

Six weeks ago we started a new adventure....  We started homeschooling!  I've waited a while to post about it for a few reasons; the main one being that we are still figuring this new gig out!!  And to be completely honest, I don't really have much to report.  We are taking it day by day and I know that we have a ways to go before we really find our groove....

I do know that I love having my boys home with me and that this is definitely what works for us.  Justus is 5 and we are doing kindergarten curriculum.  Oliver is 3 and he is basically just along for the ride this year.  He typically sits with us and colors...or whines and wants me to hold him ;)  Like I said, we're still working out the kinks!

We are keeping things pretty simple this year.  We are working on reading and writing and math (all for kindergarten age, of course!)  I did also buy the Jesus Storybook Bible and we use that as our morning devotional.  I'm really not sure who loves our new Bible more.  More often than not, I have tears in my eyes at the last paragraph.  And we have a neat science book I bought off of Zulily a few weeks back that has fun, basic experiments in it.  Tomorrow we are going to make homemade silly putty!! (It's not actually out of the science book, but it will be our first little "experiment.")

I think the biggest lesson in my life right now is seeing the world through my boys' eyes.  They are so eager to explore and move and seek.  And I, frankly, am not always so eager...!  I love how God teaches me through them every single day.  That He uses their little lives to refine mine.  They are amazing boys...but even more than that...He is an amazing God....